


Am I Good Enough?

by starfirenighthood



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: All inspired by this song, Dick is a good boyfriend, Fluff, Good Enough by Evanescence, I have lots of feels for this song, Jason feels, Jason-Centric, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Non-Explicit Sex, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 07:57:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4214097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starfirenighthood/pseuds/starfirenighthood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jason just can't help but wonder... Is he good enough for Dick? Song fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Am I Good Enough?

**Author's Note:**

> Authors's Note: Ok so, yeah another story. I swear this story wasn't planned, it just came to me and I needed to write it. I was actually riding in the car on vacation while writing an update for one of my stories and was listening to music when the song Good Enough by Evanescence came on in my shuffle. I've always loved the song, and while I was listening to it the line 'poor real life down on me' made me stop. I replayed the song from the beginning and immediately knew that it was a perfect song about jaydick, and Jason specifically. So, the idea was formed! Yep, I wrote this instead of updating, oops? Sorry! Heheh, anyways, enjoy! 
> 
> Warning: Language, and non-graphic sex. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or this song.

Sometimes, Jason's thoughts get the best of him.

Not the good ones either, the bad ones. What do I mean by bad? Well yeah, occasionally he'll shoot a really bad person, he'll jump into a situation without a proper plan and get hurt, pick fights with his family on purpose, and of _course_ a lot more. While those are all really bad, what I mean is his thoughts regarding his relationship with Dick. It's always been a complicated relationship to say the least, but recently it's been even _more_ so. How? Well, they're dating. Have been for six months, and it's great, but it's still complicated.

At least, it is in Jason's mind.

**_Under your spell again,_ **

Why is it so complicated? Well, because if Jason is honest, he's scared of what he feels. He would do anything for the older man, _anything_. It's not like he doesn't still hold _some_ form of affection for the rest of his family, but Dick especially, Jason just loves him. He's _in love_ with Dick. It shows in everything he does, really. And at first that had scared the shit out of him, but when he looks back on it, he should have known all along that he was in love. Ever since he was a kid, and _especially_ now.

But Jason's always been fucking stubborn.

**_I can't say no to you,_ **

So six months ago when they were hanging out at the older's apartment and Dick acted on impulse and kissed Jason, he surprisingly kissed back.

**_Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand,_ **

When they had first started dating, Jason refused to admit to himself that's actually what it was. That they were _dating_. Why? Because that was simply too much to accept. Jason didn't do love, didn't _allow_ himself to love. Yet here was Richard Grayson, someone he cared about in a way he had never cared about _anyone_ before. So after a few months of dating, and admitting that it was in fact what it was, Dick had of course said 'I love you'. Jason couldn't say it back, not yet, but he could begin to try.

**_I can't say no to you,_ **

Jason had never seen Dick so happy when he finally began to open up, and uttered those four words that he wouldn't ever be able to take back.

"I love you too."

**_Shouldn't let you torture me so sweetly,_ **

Now Jason and Dick had of course had sex plenty of times. A _lot_ of times. In fact, that's all Jason would allow himself to think in the beginning, that it was only for sex. He was wrong of course, but he still let himself think it. However, as he finally admitted that he was in love, that they were dating, the sex began to mean more. Well it always meant something, but now Jason knew what it was. So likewise, it began to mean _more_.

How?

Well, it shifted. It went from just fucking to _making love._ Typically Jason was the one on top, meaning he always was, but Dick didn't mind. However, when he finally began to accept what he had with Dick, he didn't always have to be on top, to be in control. Consequently, the first time he was on the bottom was when they made love for the first time. It wasn't the comfortable harsh snap of hips and frenzied kissing with rough touches that Jason was comfortable with. In fact, it was the _complete_ opposite.

Dick had been completely gentle, treating Jason like he was made of fragile glass. The older kept pressing passionate, but surprisingly slow, kisses to his lips as he slowly stripped off Jason's clothing one at a time. Practically worshipping his body. Jason would be lying if he said it hadn't made him nervous, this was completely unfamiliar territory to him. Taking a lot of time and using a lot of lube, the acrobat slowly worked Jason open until Jason was a whimpering, quivering mess. Finally when Dick pushed inside of him, it was a completely _indescribable_ feeling.

Sure, physically it felt amazing. However on a emotional level? It was _so_ incredible, _so_ unlike anything else he had ever felt, that Jason found his eyes tearing up. He had never been treated this way, with so much care and love. Dick knew it too, so he murmured sweet nothings into Jason's ear as he began a soft pace. Tears were kissed away and salt lingered on their tongues as Dick ever so gently brought them both to completion. Afterwards Jason found Dick wrapped around him, and it just felt so _right_.

**_Now I can't let go of this dream,_ **

But then again, it made everything all the more _real_.

**_I can't breathe,_ **

If something were to happen and Dick left him, Jason wouldn't be able to handle it. It would _destroy_ him, _completely_ crush his world. That thought at first freaked him out, because why on _Earth_ would Dick stay with him? Jason is _so_ messed up, _so_ twisted and dark. However, as soon as he accidentally voiced those concerns during a fight one day, Dick banished those ridiculous thoughts. Dick made Jason realize that he in fact _wouldn't_ be going anywhere, and that they were both enough for the other.

**_But I feel good enough,_ **

But was he _really_ good enough for _Dick Grayson?_

**_I feel good enough,_ **

Maybe.

**_For you,_ **

Maybe he was.

**_Drink up sweet decadence,_ **

It was all so much, _too_ much. In Jason's mind it shouldn't be this easy. Yeah they fought and stuff, but never bad enough for any 'breaks' or anything surprisingly. All it did was make Jason feel like something big was coming, something _bad_. He thought that maybe that big bad thing was telling the family about their relationship, but he was wrong. Everyone was actually surprisingly ok with it, even _Bruce_. For some reason he didn't know it worked Jason up so much that he was ready to call off their relationship.

**_I can't say no to you,_ **

Of course when he tried to tell Dick that they couldn't be together anymore, not even able to look his boyfriend in the eye, Dick wouldn't have any of it. He looked straight past the younger's façade and immediately pushed Jason down onto the couch with a 'no, you're not going to do this to yourself. You're allowed to be happy, Jason' amongst other things. Of course Dick was right, so needless to say they're still together.

Why wouldn't they be?

**_And I've completely lost myself and I don't mind,_ **

Another thing that should have clued Jason in on as to his feelings was how his killing dropped significantly. He barely shot to kill anymore, meaning like, never. Why? Well... Because Dick didn't want him to. At first neither mentioned it because it just led to fight after fight until both knew better than to bring it up. However, gradually Dick began to nudge him towards the direction of not killing and Jason loved Dick, so he accepted the guidance.

**_I can't say no to you,_ **

It made Dick so incredibly happy when Jason declared he wouldn't be using his guns anymore except for when he _absolutely needed to_ on missions and patrols, most of which they did together.

**_Shouldn't let you conquer me completely,_ **

Everything he did now a days, maybe almost always, was for the older man. The only thing that got him up in the mornings was Dick Grayson. Knowing that he managed to snag someone so incredible, and _all_ for himself. The reason he went through so much pain to get to where he was now, was for Dick.

_Always for him._

**_Now I can't let go of his dream,_ **

The strange thing is, he wouldn't have it any other way.

**_Can't believe that I feel good enough,_ **

But was he _really_ good enough?

**_I feel good enough,_ **

Well, he did _try_ to be a good person, and do everything for Dick that he possibly could.

**_It's been such a long time comin but I feel good,_ **

Yeah, maybe he was _ok_ enough.

**_And I'm still waitin for the rain to fall,_ **

But like always, Jason was just waiting for that inevitable day to come when Dick was done with him.

**_Poor real life down on me,_ **

For his little bubble to pop, and for Dick to realize how much better he could do.

**_Cuz I can't hold on,_ **

Why?

**_To anything this good enough,_ **

Because everything that he ever loved was always taken away from him.

**_Am I good enough,_ **

So on a Saturday evening when he was strolling hand in hand with Dick through the park on a rare night out, he wasn't expecting his bubble to pop in the complete opposite direction of what he had assumed.

_**For you to love me too,** _

Jason's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets he was so surprised when Dick dropped down on one knee by an abandoned little pond they went to frequently. He could feel his mouth drop open in shock as Dick grabbed one of his hands, blankly gaping at his boyfriend. There was _no way..._

**_So take care of what you ask of me,_ **

"Jason," Dick began, smiling up at him as Jason continued to just stare uncomprehensively , "I love you _so_ much. I know we've had our ups and downs, and you've been through so much. I promised I wouldn't ever hurt you or let anyone else hurt you ever again, and I aim to keep that promise. You are the most important person to me in my life, and I want to be with you forever. So, Jason Peter Todd, will you marry me?"

**_Cuz I can't say no._ **

It took Jason's brain a moment to catch up with what was happening, but when it finally did, a sound of surprise escaped his throat. His eyes teared up as he dumbly just nodded his head yes, not even able to speak. The brightest grin Jason had ever seen spread across Dick's face as he slipped a ring onto Jason's finger, tears already spilling out down his face.

Dragging him up, Jason pulled Dick into a messy kiss that they both were grinning too much to even count as real kiss as they laughed breathlessly. In between kisses, Dick whispered "I love you, Jason. I always have, and I always will. "

"I love you too, Richard, and I'll _always_ love you."

After all, it _was_ true. And as they walked hand in hand to Jason's motorcycle while Dick rubbed the metal band on Jason's left finger with his thumb, he could feel it. _There_ , he knew the answer to his question. He _was_ in fact enough. Jason was _good enough_ for Dick to love him, and now everyone else would know it too. 

**Author's Note:**

> Also I'm publishing this today bc of the news! Gay marriage is now legal nationwide in the U.S., and I'm so happy! So congrats everybody XD Imagine rainbows everywhere. Also, love wins. :)


End file.
